My husband’s death, along with living and raising our sons without him is the single most agonizing experience I’ve had on this planet. When I say I’m grateful for this experience, it can seem off-putting, callous or cold. But, it’s the opposite of those things.
I love my husband, dearly. I haven’t seen him in 4 years. Everyday is an excruciating challenge. It is most definitely not because I didn’t or don’t love him that I am able to be grateful for this experience. It’s because I love him above and beyond that gives me the ability to appreciate this final gift he has given me, no matter how unintentional the gift. It’s a gift to experience such deep, raw, powerful emotions. It’s a gift to receive the insight and wisdom that goes along with this experience.
It is not simply, be grateful for simple things like washing machines and roads- or, a loved one’s passing. It is to move beyond the surface of these things and truly let them permeate your experience on the planet. To be real and truly grateful, the flood gates must be completely removed and your soul lays bare, vulnerable to any condition, ready to soak up whatever it is. That’s life.