Funny Not Funny Reasons to Bring Your Own Bag
I finally got fed up with flimsy single-use plastic shopping bags and bought some fantastic bags to take their place. I did it for selfish personal reasons as much as environmental concerns and I’m happy I did. My shopping experience has definitely improved after kicking the plastic bag habit. Because….
Plastic shopping bags are the worst practical jokesters.
They act like they’re making my shopping trip more convenient. Then, they refuse to carry more than 3-4 things each so I look like a walking trash dump lugging 50 of them on each arm.
I can almost hear them trying not to snicker as they wait for the perfect moment to break and spill everything out on the ground.
I know you’ve seen them windsurfing around parking lots after they’ve completely abandoned their duty, leaving some shopper to figure out how to carry all the items without their precious plastic bag.
If I make them ride cargo, they throw all the canned goods at the loaf of bread.
If I let them ride in the backseat, they throw all the canned goods at me when I go to unload them.
They shake up the 2-liters in hopes that I’ll want a soda when I get home.
They pretend like they’ll be useful if I save them to use as bathroom trash bags. Then, they hang around getting in the way and cluttering up the kitchen.
The act all weak and flimsy, then they take hundreds of years to bake in the sun, crumble into tiny fragments and contaminate everything.
Fortunately, plastic bags come with a printed warning against using them as baby carriers and halloween masks or they’d kill a lot more people. Unfortunately, most animals are illiterate because only fish go to school.
They impersonate jellyfish to freak out millions of unsuspecting sea animals.. It doesn’t seem to bother them that these stupid practical jokes are killing millions of sea turtles, birds, seals and other creatures.
Plastic bags are beach bums. Instead of YOU being down on the beach, chilling, building sandcastles, and playing in the ocean.. it’s plastic bags. They’re the most common type of garbage found on the beach during coastal cleanups.
Plastic bags pretend like they’re being all responsible on their way to the landfill or the recycling center, but they just catch the first breeze back to the beach!
Reusable grocery bags pros and cons
Spoiler: There aren’t any cons. Read more about my experience with stupid plastic bags and switching to my new reusable bags.